Santa’s Bike

"T’was the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even a horse."

"That’s not how it goes. It’s ‘not even a mouse,’" said Jangles, the younger of twin supervisor elves to Jingles, who was reading from a Christmas story book.

"Oh, I disagree; we should all be up to change. Besides it sounds nice, it even starts with an H." Jingles, the older twin, said.

"I must correct you, brother. Even if we are subject to change, it doesn’t mean we should change a classic piece of writing that has a good rhyme scheme. Just what will Mrs. Smith think?"

"Who?"

"Oh, you know, that English teacher at CF."

"You mean the one who lives in Citrus County, the middle of nowhere?"

"Yes, that’s the one. You wouldn’t want to get her mad."

"Oh, I’m terribly sorry, I had no idea," said the now-informed Jingles.

Jangles said, "All right, let’s not fight, or at least not tonight, for Santa’s sake."

"Boy, do we have a surprise for him."

"Oh, yes we do." replied Jangles.

Jingles said, "Let’s show it to him already."

"Okay, okay."

Santa was checking his list the second time through.

"Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy. You’ll never get on my ‘good list’ if you keep torturing your cat. Will he ever learn?" Santa said as he crossed out Jimmy’s name.

Suddenly, there was knocking on Santa’s door.

"Come in." he said. It was Jingles and Jangles. "Well?"

"Santa, we would like to present you with," Jingles said as he unveiled the present, "the XR 5000 Motorcycle. Now you can kiss those sled-chaffing days goodbye. Besides, it is time for a change, isn’t it, Jangles?" He said sarcastically.

Jangles merely responded, "Anyway, we just thought this year, Santa, you could go out with a little more style." Santa was overjoyed.

The jolly old elf said, "Well, this sure is off the heisy. Yo, yo, yo." Jangles shuddered like a teen over-hearing their parents trying to use their language.

Jingles broke the tension by asking, "So, Santa, are you ready to go on your one way ticket to everyone’s chimney with this?"

The elder twin pulled out a Santa hat, but it wasn’t an ordinary red-and-white-pointy hat. This was Santa’s new plastic white with red flames helmet. Now Santa was ready to deliver his gifts.

Jingles and Jangles ran outside with all the other elves, and Mrs. Claus waved goodbye as Santa popped a wheelie and screeched away.

Meanwhile . . .

"‘T’was the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse’," said Dad as he read the kids their Christmas Eve story.

"Hold on, Daddy," said little Molly, the younger twin sister said, "why can’t it be ‘not even a horse.’ I think horses are cute."

"Not everything is about stupid horses, you know," said Holly, the older twin.

"Horses are not stupid. They’re smarter than you because you’re just a dummy-dumb-head."

Holly screamed, "Naw ahh!"

Molly yelled back, "Yeah Haw!"

Dad had to break this up right away, "Hey, hey, hey. We’ll have none of that. It’s just a story. There will be no fighting, or at least not tonight, for Santa’s sake."

"Boy do we have a surprise for him," Holly said, forgetting what she was just screaming about.

"Oh yes we do," said Molly.

Eli Nuzzi -- 2005